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    The Five Mistakes Parents Make that Give Away Control

Almond Cookies

I like this cookie recipe for many reasons.

  • It has only a few ingredients which makes it for a quick preparation.
  • You can lower the sugar amount (or use a sugar substitute like Splenda) and they still taste great.
  • You can add food coloring or sprinkles to change the look of the cookie.
  • The kids can do everything.

From tots to teens this is a simple recipe that is fun and easy to make no matter if you are 2 or 92! Enjoy!

Almond Cookie Recipe

Dry Ingredients:

1 cup flour 1 1/3 cups sugar (You could decrease this amount to 1 cup of regular sugar. You can also bake with Splenda if you prefer not to use sugar)

¼ teaspoon salt

2/3 cup sliced almonds

Cut in:

½ cup butter

1 beaten egg yolk

½ teaspoon almond extract

Directions:

Pour dry ingredients in bowl and stir. Using a plastic knife have child cut butter into dry mixture and add the almond extract.

Show them how to separate yolk from white. Have them gently crack egg in the middle. Place both thumbs on the crack and pull apart. Quickly turn the halves to one side so you retain the yolk in the cracked shell. Let white ooze off into a bowl. If this is too hard for them, you can do this yourself- although it is lots of fun to learn to crack an egg. Use up a few eggs practicing-that’s fun too. You can always do this yourself.

Now here comes the fun part:

Add the egg yolk and blend all the ingredients with your hands (washed of course!) Kids love this part!  Divide the dough into thirds and roll each part into a long roll about ½ inch thick. If you want you could add a different food coloring to each 1/3 of the dough. Have your child wear plastic gloves if you do this so the food coloring doesn’t get on their hands.

Take the plastic knife and cut dough in sections each about 2 inches.

Shape the cookie anyway you like. How about a ball, a moon, a snake? Flatten slightly. If you want, sprinkle on some sugar sprinkle.

Use a clean craft brush to brush the tops with egg whites.

Bake at 350 degrees about 15-20 minutes.

Did your kids have fun? Share your cooking experience on my Facebook page: www.facebook.com/clearpatheducation

4 Stress Relief Tips to Better Enjoy the Holiday!

4 Stress Relief Tips to Better Enjoy the Holidays… and make Shopping Entertaining & Decorating a Breeze!

Its official, the holiday season is here! Does just thinking about all the shopping, entertaining, and decorating and your ever-shrinking budget send you into a tizzy? Relax. With a bit of thoughtful preparation and some helpful parameters, you can achieve the look and outcome you want for you and your family-without being so stressed you can’t enjoy the season.

What are the tips to reduce stress and still enjoy the holiday season?

1. Spend Smarter

* Consider a budget. Don’t get caught shopping until you’ve given some consideration to how much you are able to spend. Think of those credit card bills in January-what can you honestly handle? If you love to shop, it may seem to take some fun out of it, but being faced with big bills in the New Year isn’t fun either.

* Be specific. Once you’ve put a realistic limit on spending, you know what you have to work with. Are you getting just a few high quality gifts or would it be better to get a number of less expensive gifts so kids and family have more to open? You decide what works best for you. Encourage your extended family to draw names instead of everyone getting gifts for the whole family.

* Make a list. You can make it very specific or general. Coming up with ideas of what your family would like gives you a starting point and helps you estimate how much you plan to spend on each person.

* Use only one credit card. This will help to keep track of purchases.

2. Shop Shrewder

* Start early. Don’t run the risk of being frustrated because they have run out of what you wanted. If you enjoy the hustle and bustle of last minute shopping, save it for small gifts such as stocking stuffers or little treats. Get the bigger items out of the way first.

* Go online. You are savvy enough to know this can lead to finding things at a lower price. You can also research where to find something if you want to buy in person and save time driving from one mall to another.

* Negotiate. It may surprise you to know that it is possible to ask for a lower price. You never know until you try. If you are buying in bulk, one or more could be slightly soiled, or you are in a small store that is owner owned and willing to bargain. They want the sale. Give it a try.

3. Entertain Effortlessly

* KISS: Keep it simple sister! As much as possible simplify the event. Make part of the menu take-out items from your favorite deli. Ask some guests to bring their specialty- most likely they will be happy you asked. Invite a family member or friend to co-host. If a fine dining experience is a must, hire some help. Plan to do as much as you can in advance. Setup the table the day before and prepare as much of the menu ahead of time.

* How about January? Some social events could be delayed until January. Consider which ones can be postponed. People’s schedules are generally more open mid-January. You may find more people can make it and you will have a better time because you aren’t so tired.

4. Downsize Decorating

* Get the whole family to help. Rethink how you want the house to look based on the ages of your children. What can they do so they can be a part of the celebration as well? If much of your decorating is complicated and time consuming, perhaps you want to pare things down a bit until your children are older. The point is to have FUN! And it’s no longer fun if you are up late at night working on hanging, arranging, etc. after everyone is in bed.

* Rein in. Count how many boxes you’ve taken down from storage. Sort out those items that you are tired of looking at or that simply look a bit tired. Donate them to a shelter or retirement home. They won’t think they look tired and will greatly appreciate new items to liven up the place. Decide to use some of the boxes and put the rest away. You won’t miss the decorations you didn’t use.

This year make your resolution BEFORE the holidays begin: More fun, less stress! Use these tips to keep stress at a minimum and enjoy the holidays. Which tips did you find most helpful? Please share what you did to make your holidays less stress on my Facebook page: www.facebook.com/clearpatheducation

Stuff the Turkey NOT Yourself

For many, the fourth Thursday in November can be the beginning of “holiday weight gain” from celebrating the holidays.

The Thanksgiving meal has been estimated to be 4,500 calories and 229 grams of fat!

But don’t blame the turkey. It’s all those side dishes loaded with butter, sugar, cream and oil. And after this celebration come the rest of the parties and celebrations.

Some health experts estimate party-goers and holiday celebrators could add up to as much as 5 pounds from Labor Day to New Years.

Others point out that even if the weight gain is only a pound or two, the weight put on during the holiday season often isn’t shed during the New Year.

The good news is: gaining weight is not a hopeless conclusion!

With planning and a little knowledge you can enjoy holiday fare without seeing an increase on the bathroom scale. Recognize some pitfalls that come with celebrating and put these tips to good use…and come January, those skinny jeans still fit!

10 challenges of holiday eating & 10 helpful tips for a successful outcome:

1. Skipping meals so you can “indulge”

Do you give up breakfast or lunch to “save up” your calories and can eat more? Hunger invites overeating. You could eat a lot in the time (20 minutes) it takes for your brain to get the message from your stomach: I am full.

TIP: Eat a healthy breakfast (or lunch). Make sure you have protein and ease off on the carbs. There will be plenty served at the main event.

2. Controlling your Portions

Rule of thumb: Take only one helping. No seconds. Don’t finish everything. Leave a small amount.

TIP: Use your hand as a portion guide: 

Closed Fist                                          = 1 cup

Palm (without fingers or thumb)   = 3-4 oz

Thumb                                                = 1 oz

3. Grazing & Mindless Eating

Do you fill up on all the snacks and hors d’oeuvres? An eye-catching smorgasbord of salty nuts, crunchy crackers, creamy cheese, mountains of potato chips and dip placed conveniently in front of the HD TV is so tempting. It’s likely you could eat an entire meal of over 1000 calories… even before the main event!

Tip: Be mindful of those little snacks. They add up quickly. One small handful of nuts is about 200 calories, the size and amount of a regular snack.

4. Selecting which foods to eat from a huge array of choices

Contrary to popular belief, you DO NOT need to have a serving of everything. Be choosy. Save your calories for the foods you really like and crave.

Tip: To lower calories:

1) Select white over dark meat-skip the skin

2) Use butermilk, fat-free chicken broth, fat-free sour cream or fat-free evaporated milk instead of butter in your mashed potatoes

3. Use a high fiber bread to make the dressing instead of prepackaged white bread cubes

4) Skip the dinner roll

5) Make the yams with crushed pineapple in its own juice instead of adding syrup or brown sugar. Add 2 tsp cinamon and 1 tsp chili powder for a flavor boost.

6)  Skip the green bean casserole with its deep fried onions and stir fry fresh green beans with a dash of olive oil

5. All or Nothing Thinking

I’ve already blown it by eating too much so I might as well enjoy myself.

TIP: Be kind to yourself. You may have slipped a bit, but tomorrow is another day.

6. Indulging…isn’t that what the holiday is all about?

TIP: Choose the lightest option (pumpkin is fewer calories than pecan). Eat only one piece. Eat only half. Skip the crust. You can enjoy a treat without over doing it.

7. Having so many “Leftovers”

Why do they always taste better the day after? Because you are not stuffed! Food tastes better when you are hungry.

TIP: Enjoy them as an added treat. However, don’t feel obligated to eat them. It is okay to toss them as well.

8. Alcohol….Yes, No, or Less

For some, a holiday meal isn’t complete without accompanied by a fine wine.

TIP: Limit your intake. Alcohol dims your judgment and increases your appetite. Lighten the alcoholic content by drinking wine spritzers. Drink a glass of water between each glass of wine and aim for a limit of two.

9. Not enough Time to Exercise

TIP: Move don’t snooze. Instead of napping everyone helps clean-up and then maybe a walk or outdoor game. Fifteen minutes of walking briskly will get your blood circulating and burn at least 100 calories.

10. Too much Focus on  the Food

TIP: Focus on what is really important. Take time to reflect on all your blessings. Focus on the fellowship of family and good friends. Enjoy the conversation. Share stories and catch up on life.

I hope these tips will be helpful as you enjoy this holiday season. What tip or tips will you choose?

How to Raise Thankful Children

Michael’s teacher commented, “I noticed your son says “thank you” quite often. And he’s sincere as well.

“Tell me how you’ve encouraged this.”

Michael’s mom, “Well, mostly we got tired of him not acknowledging or appreciating all the nice things we did for him. My husband and I were bothered by it until we had to admit, we didn’t often say thank you to each other either. We realized we weren’t setting a good example, so we made some big changes around the house.”

Read more »

Put on Your Jacket!

“Getting my son 8 year old son Chris to put on his jacket is typically a struggle. Even on rainy days. Don’ know why-just is. We were getting to leave for school and Chris was absorbed in doing a puzzle. I decided to offer choices. He wasn’t resistant (yet) and choices get cooperation, right?”

So I said, “Hey Chris, do you want to wear your jacket or carry it?”

“No response. Nothing. Didn’t even lift his head up. Time was running out and I really wanted him to wear his jacket. It was going to be a cold and rainy day.”

“All of a sudden my husband went into the hall closet and took out his jacket. (Chris has a jacket that looks just like his Dads.”)

Read more »

No, Avocados are Adult Food

How well does it usually go for you when you introduce a new food to your children?

I’m guessing sometimes not so good. Children are creatures of habit and are not usually enthusiastic about changes in their diet-or other changes as well.

Find out how this clever mom and dad introduced a new food to their daughter. See if you can recognize the THREE tools they used to entice their daughter to eat avocado. I happen to love avocados, but I do think they are a bit of an acquired taste and may not appeal to young children. Enjoy this story of how a five-year old decided she was grown up enough to eat avocados!

Read more »

EMPATHY-The most important Tool of all by Charles Fay

Have you Forgotten Empathy?

It’s the simplest yet most difficult skill.

It’s the most powerful yet hardest to do.

It makes the difference between our kids learning responsibility versus learning resentment.

It’s the heart of Love and Logic, and it’s key to making just about any parenting technique work.

Those familiar with Love and Logic know that I’m talking about empathy. We’ve all seen it in action. We’ve all seen how much better kids respond when we provide strong doses of sincere empathy before we describe consequences.

That’s the Love and Logic formula: Heap on the empathy before providing the consequence.

Why it’s so easy to forget as we go through our daily lives with our families?

I don’t know. It just is. One strategy for staying on track is listening to the very same Love and Logic CD over and over again. The more times you listen, the easier it is to remember when the pressure is on. The CD, The Four Steps to Responsibility is my personal favorite. It reminds me that kids learn from mistakes only when they know that we really love them and care.

Thanks for reading!
Dr. Charles Fay

What Did I Say?

The Brain Dead Tool involves using a “one-liner” approach to whatever your child is arguing with you about. The goal is to disengage from what they are saying, because it is unimportant and very likely manipulative.

Remember: Children argue because they are testing your limit. That is their job.

YOUR job is to hold firm, keep the limit.

You don’t have to justify or explain your decision. Maybe you could have a talk at a later date when everyone is calm, BUT NOT NOW.

Read more »

Silly Choices Suprise the Kids

After the Love and Logic session on “Offering Choices” I started right in giving many choices. My husband had sometimes thought I gave the kids too many choices and that it wasn’t really necessary.  Instead of trying to convince him it would help get our kids to become more cooperative, I simply started offering choices every chance I could think of. Lots and lots of them. Getting dressed, the way the put their toys away, dinner plate color, cup color, anything I could think of. One day he surprised me. I guess he thought he would give it a try too.” 

“He was cutting up some apple with our 3 and 6 yr boys. While cutting he asked, “Do you want it cut in two or three pieces? Do you want the skin on or off? Do you want seeds or no seeds?  Do you want worm or no worm?” 

“My kids thought it was so funny and silly that daddy was giving them so many choices just for their apple and they were just laughing at how silly daddy was being about a worm in their apple.  It was great to see my husband make a first step toward becoming a love and logic parent and seeing my kids respond so well to such a simple technique.”

This story makes me smile. I bet it makes you smile too. I’m so glad the mom hung in there and modeled offering choices instead of trying to talk her husband into it. He got it and added humor besides! I’m sure this lightened the mood for everyone and now this family has many more fun and silly moments around offering choices.

How about you trying silly choices? Do it! Inspire other parents to try this tool in a fun way and look forward to the results. Let me know how it goes!

September Love and Logic Classes

Becoming a Love and Logic Parent

This class is for parents of school-aged children. Learn the 12 tools that help with stopping backtalk, arguing, disrespectful behavior, help with homework time, getting chores done on time, and learn how to come up with consequences when you can’t think of any at the moment. We will also learn how to use allowances to teach responsibility and as an effective consequence for making a poor decision.

Read more »

POOR SPORT by Jim Fay

Jason was having a bad day on the soccer field, yelling out criticisms to his teammates.

“Settle down, Jason,” warned his coach. “Give the others a break. It’s not all about you. Share the ball or I’m going to have to pull you from the game.” Hearing this, Jason ran screaming at two of the other players, pushed one down and kicked the ball over the fence.

Read more »

Thanks for Teaching us Love and Logic!

Thank you very much for teaching the Love and Logic class.

The parenting methodology my wife and I learned made an immediate and positive impact with our 3 year old daughter. It’s as if we finally found the parenting instruction manual we’ve been looking for.

We’ve embraced the four basic principles of:

1) Building the self-concept

2) Sharing control and decision making

3) Offering empathy, then consequences after bad behavior

4) Sharing the thinking and problem-solving

Read more »

Change the Way you Celebrate Halloween

Who doesn’t enjoy this fun holiday?

Kids love to get dressed up in their favorite character and parents have the fun of putting together the costume, even for little ones who don’t quite get it yet!

Yes, it’s fun to take those pictures, but there are some down sides to Halloween.
Gone are the days when you could send your school-aged kids off in the neighborhood-free to roam. Now, you must come along. You are tired after a long day. It’s a bit of a challenge to walk around in the dark and perhaps cold, with kids who could be tired as well and grumpy because they didn’t have a healthy meal beforehand.
And what about all that candy?

Not nutritious for the kids or parents either. Come on, most parents sneak a piece or two! What’s a parent to do? How can you join your child in celebrating Halloween without you and your child being tired and grumpy and…..deal with all that candy?

Change the way you celebrate Halloween!

Yep. Do it differently this year. Read more »

5 Mistakes Parents Make that Give Away Control

Life was going pretty good.

The morning routine was smooth and rather peaceful. You got out on time and no one was late. The family room stayed fairly neat. The dirty laundry was where it should be. Preparing for bedtime was a breeze. The kids listened and followed directions and were obliging. Then all of a sudden, everything seemed to be going downhill and out of control. The arguing increased, there was less cooperation and you started being late to things.

Have you noticed your kids paying less and less attention to limits you’ve set?

Do consequences not seem to have much of an effect?

Uh Oh! You’ve slipped into using the 5 common mistakes parents make that give away control. Any of these ring true? Read more »

Chinese Dinner in the Park

Why do I REALLY like this Love and Logic Story?

Dad wanted to spend some quality time with his son.

Dad valued his son’s preferences and came up with a way to present options.

Dad creatively used the tool of “Choices” to involve his son in the evening’s activity so that he would feel special and his wishes were important.

Dad deepened his relationship with his son because he took the time to figure out how to include his son’s ideas as well. Great result. Read on.

Read more »

I Bit My Tongue and Didn’t Remind

Why do I REALLY like this Love and Logic story?

This parent showed restraint.

This parent showed patience.

This parent was willing to be uncomfortable and recognize her child was going to be very uncomfortable because of a natural consequence.

This parent chose to allow a learning experience that would result in the very least with her being inconvenienced as well as the child.

All of these decisions are habits of effective parenting. They aren’t particularly easy to do, but they can bring great results!

Are you willing to show restraint, be patient, allow your child to be uncomfortable to teach a great life lesson?

This parent was and the outcome is a really good one. Read on.

“I thought I would share a little family saga that forced me to dig deep and find my Love and Logic skills.”
Read more »

The EXPENSIVE Ride to School & The $80 Backpack

The EXPENSIVE Ride to School

Another hectic morning.

Amy was getting ready to head off for math camp. She is usually very conscientious about time, but she got caught up playing electronic games this morning. I pointed out the time to her a couple of times, but no other reminders. Suddenly she panics and realizes she only has a few moments to spare and it is now too late to walk or ride her bike.

Amy, “Mom, I really need to get to math camp on time and now I’m going to be late.”

Read more »

Do You Know the Truth About Sport Drinks?

Everybody knows it’s important to stay hydrated especially when the weather turns hot.
What is your beverage of choice to stay cool and hydrated? A tall glass of water? Or, do you sip your favorite sports drink?

If your choice is sports drink, you might want to think again.

Many sport drinks are loaded with sugar. The high price you are paying is mostly for sugar water.

You may be thinking, “What about all the electrolytes such as sodium, potassium, and chloride they provide my body after a work out?

Don’t I need that?”

Read more »

My Favorite Low Carb “Cracker”

Summer get-togethers naturally lend themselves to finger foods. And one of the most popular is chip and dips. To keep down the carbs and calories, fresh veggies are always a tasty option rather than chips.

If you are looking for a low carb, low calorie cracker, my favorite is one by Wheat Thins called “FIBER SELECTS.”  With a decent serving size of 13 crackers the calorie count is 120 calories and the net carb count is 17 carbs. To find net carbs (which means how many carbohydrates are metabolized that impact your insulin) you subtract the amount of fiber from the total carbohydrate count.

Wheat Thins Fiber Selects
Total Carbohydrate: 22 grams
Dietary Fiber:           -5 grams
Total net carbs:         17 grams

This is a lower carbohydrate than just about any other cracker you can buy. And they taste great too! But what if you would like an alternative? Something lower in carbs, and with a bit of protein?

Try my cheese “cracker” recipe. Tasty and crunchy, they give you another option besides regular crackers or veggies.

Read more »

Raising an Independent Child

July is the month we as a nation celebrate our independence. The value of independence is important to parents too. Parents recognize that raising independent children, able to make good decisions, even when no one is watching, is a solid investment in their child’s future. Children who learn independence are more self-sufficient and less susceptible to peer pressure and temptations.

It’s no secret that our complex world with overwhelming influences from advanced technology and social media is making this goal a challenge to say the least.

What’s a parent to do? What should you consider?  First…..

Read more »

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